This blog has really hit rock bottom

Why?

I am about to write a post about insomnia.

Is there anything worse than a blog entry by a comedian about insomnia?

Written in the middle of the night, watching a sportscenter ultimate highlight, eating whole food mint oreo's, of course in his underwear, constantly clicking back and forth to his fantasy baseball team switching the last outfield spot from aubrey huff to jeremy hermida and back again fifty times, now watching rachel mcnichols interview Dwayne Wade-- she has to be the cutest sportscenter reporter, it must be late if I'm fantasizing about Rachel Mcnichols, throwing a mini nerf basketball up and down in the air, trying to find episode 3 of Dog Bites Man online, wondering how long I napped today and if that is whats keeping me up, thinking about writing, isnt this kind of writing, but what am I gonna do with this, thinking about writing something like a sketch or short film, buying music I dont need and cant afford on Itunes, bidding on cool pair of nikes on Ebay, Hermida, Huff, Hermida, Huff, the cat is now here, and now its gone, uch an outside the lines piece, channel change, settle on oblongs, take the word settle very literarily, watching big bucking chicken commercial, laugh, oh man this sucks, both having insomnia and this blog entry, so does entourage lately am i right, dropped clicker, picked it up, dropped it again, daniella says cute jibberish in her sleep, Hermida, Huff, Hermida, Huff, or Lastings Milledge, Huff, Hermida, Huff, sweating now, maybe sick, or just the classic time in all of insomnia when you think your sick, but maybe i am, wow, oblongs not that funny, ehh sort of funny, not that funny, i wonder what Rachel Mcnichols is wearing right now, its very late, but eyes open, should cut my toe nails, nope, maybe ill bold the next word, doody, im really mature, Huff, Hermida, Huff, Hermida, no, Im going with Huff, he is more experianced and usually heats up around this time If Hermida has a good week, I'll play him next week, I am just now feeling bad for anyone that is reading this all the way through and has gotten up to this point, I apologize.

Well I was right, there is nothing worse than a blog entry about insomnia.

The Great Overheard 2...

This one comes fom my friend Greg Tusculescu.

He told me this story a while back and I always relay it to my friends as possibly one of the funneist storys ever.

Greg was walking down the street and he overheard a young girl talking on her cell phone.

"No, I just like got bought some cleaning supplys to clean our bathroom wich is totes dirty....

Well, I bought like some soap and stuff at Duane Reade, and then I found the mop at the 99cents store...............................

99Cents."

Random LA

Just got back from LA, these are random things I have learned.


If your working, not that bad, if your not busy, its the loneliest place in the world.

Almost everyone told me to make my car my own, have water, mints, and books on tape, and such... And they would tell me this without being solicited by me with a question like, "how should I view my car?"

Bigshots wear yankee hats, though they are not from New York, nor do they live there.

Every morning it looks like its going to rain, but its just a smog that lifts by 12:00 and becomes a really nice day.

GAS IS EXPENSIVE

PEOPLE WHO DRIVE HYRBIDS TELL YOU HOW MUCH THEY SAVE ON GAS

Both these topics are told to you without you asking a question, how much is gas, and do I save if I drive a hybrid.

You could play a game called, "It's better in NY" with almost anything.

When your in traffic people look into your car, making any sort of nosepic almost impossible.... ALMOST

Santa Monica is awesome... The Valley is not... the rest of la looks exactly like every other area in la, you cant tell westwood, beverly hills apart from brentwood or hollywood. Its all a suburb, with a lot of billboards.

All this being said, I kinda liked it.

Audition Horror Story 4

Callback -- Volkswagen

Waited almost two hours to go in and read.

Got in, had a real good read. Think they liked me.

This was a friday so they asked me, "Can you write down your phone number in case we call you back over the weekend."

"Sure, but I have handwriting like a kid with downsyndrome, you might want to just let me tell it to you and you write it down."

SILENCE

Then, I laughed at what I had just said.

Today... Realeased.

Who is this?

Who is this?



A) Don Cheadle's less succesful brother
B) Danny Glover's son
C) The guy who played Wesley Snipes brother in Sugar HIll
D) Shawn Kemp
E) Character Actor John Amos

If you picked D... your correct, and now you feel sad.

The Greatest Web Site

Go Here NOW!!!

SAVE NY BASKETBALL

www.selltheknicks.com

Fortune?

I got these shrimp dumplings, szechuan style, from this chinese restaurant delivered for lunch. Its one of those depressing days where its raining terribly, but its hot and muggy, and I havent left the apartment, so these dumplings where my contact with the outside world.

After devouring them in maybe 3 seconds, I went to the fortune cookies. Now, I am fully aware, that for a blog writer it is hack to write about fortune cookie fortunes, but this pissed me off to no end.

"Thinking is endorsed"

Fuck you, that is such a shitty fortune. I hope some really depressed person who lost there job, their spouse left, their house is being foreclosed, and they take there last bit of money to get some chinese food, they get this fortune, and it drives them to shoot themselves in the face in public. What a fucking bullshit fortune. Thinking is endorsed? Yeah, I know, thanks. Its smart to think. You fucking assholes who write these things, I hope you have a guilty conscience about the fact that your phoning it in you motherfuckers. I pray to god whenever you get chinese food, the fortunes inside read, your a stupid fucking idiot.

Alright, I'm ok now, what just happened, I just blacked out.